We find exactly as many vulnerabilities as your framework requires. No more, no less. Report guaranteed before your auditor's deadline — testing optional.
Rated 5 stars by clients who never opened the deliverable.
*There is no QA.
Trusted by security teams who needed a PDF by Friday
Logos shown in gray because none of them agreed to be here.
Seals unaffiliated with any actual standards body, obviously. Lamination is real.
Whatever your compliance framework demands, we deliver it. Scoped tightly, tested lightly, reported heavily.
Everything your auditor needs, nothing your attacker fears. Clean report, executive summary, attestation letter suitable for framing.
We run the scanner. We change the logo. You get the PDF. Our proprietary methodology is a Perl script from 2011 that swaps the cover page.
A comprehensive assessment of your single approved /32, conducted within your generous testing window of Tuesday, 2:15–3:45 PM, excluding lunch.
You give us Domain Admin on day one. We confirm you have Domain Admin. LinkedIn post included: "We obtained DA in under 30 minutes."
We send one email to your IT team — the same team you warned last week. Click rate: 0%. Certificate of Human Firewall Excellence included.
Verify your fixes actually fixed things. Sold separately. Always sold separately. Requires new SOW, new kickoff call, and a new Q4.
Refined over nearly a decade of shipping the same four report templates.
Forty-five minutes establishing what's out of scope. (Everything interesting.)
One IP address. No phishing, no physical, no exploitation, no lateral movement, no post-exploitation. Deliverable requested: "Full Red Team Report."
"Can you be thorough, but also not touch the network?" We can. We're the best at it.
nmap -sV. Both flags. We spare no expense.
Nessus → Export → PDF. An analyst then manually looks at the PDF, which makes it manual testing.
Find & Replace the previous client's name. We catch almost all of them, GloboTech.
A collaborative session where you tell us which Criticals are actually Informational. Risk accepted. Namaste.
90-page report by encrypted email. The password is in the same email. Executive summary is the only page anyone opens, ever.
Real excerpts from our most requested report template. CVSS environmental scores realigned to your risk appetite at no extra charge.
| Severity | Finding | Status |
|---|---|---|
| CRITICAL | SSL certificate expires in 11 monthsUrgent. Board-level. Font size 18, red, bold. | Escalated |
| HIGH | Missing X-Frame-Options header on the 404 pageClickjacking of the logout button remains theoretically devastating. | Escalated |
| HIGH | Server version disclosed in bannerWe asked the server what it was and it told us. Unacceptable. | Escalated |
| MEDIUM | TLS 1.1 enabled on the breakroom printerAlso the printer is the domain controller now. Separate finding? No — out of scope. | Tracking |
| LOW | Domain Admin password "Spring2026!" reused on 340 accountsDowngraded from Critical during severity alignment call. Risk accepted by client. Great call, everyone. | Risk accepted |
| INFO | Flat network, no EDR, unpatched DC from 2008, Kerberoastable service account named "svc_donotdelete"Noted for completeness. Exploitation was not permitted under the rules of engagement. | Out of scope |
Findings count guaranteed to match last year's report ±1 for auditor continuity.
Board-ready. Green tested against six brands of projector.
Started at nine Criticals. One alignment call later: art.
The deliverable. Exec summary read rate: 100%. Page 3+: untouched.
"They found nothing. 10/10."
— CISO, undisclosed fintech"The report was 94 pages. I read the first two. We passed the audit."
— Director of GRC, healthcare"We got breached in January, but the pentest was in Q4, so technically the report was accurate at time of delivery."
— VP of IT, retail"I asked them to remove a Critical and they did. True partners."
— Head of Compliance, SaaS"Same price as a real pentest, half the anxiety."
— CFO, logistics"Their tester never touched our network. You could feel the professionalism."
— Network Admin, manufacturingActual unretouched image of our Senior Principal Lead Hacker. All hackers wear hoodies indoors; it's the law. He is downloading the mainframe.
Appears in all marketing photos typing green text in a dark room. Photo taken in a data center we don't own.
20 years of experience, OSCP, spoke at DEF CON. You will never see him again after the contract is signed.
Currently doing four engagements this week. Great attitude. Knows where the report template lives.
Reviews every report for quality. It is a spellchecker. We raised a Series A on this.
All packages include a PDF. Some include testing.
All prices exclude retesting, rescoping, re-reporting, and reality. Scope changes of any kind — including "can you just also check the cloud real quick" — require a change order, a new kickoff call, and a moment of silence.
Book now and lock in this year's findings for next year, too.
Reserve Q4 SlotFindings sold separately. Security not included. Batteries never at issue.